Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Embracing the Darkness

A series of events transpired months ago that have lead this OLIT to a two day spree of violent and hellish entertainment. Last night WWE Smackdown proved to be quite the spectacle but thanks to having the privlege of sitting next to an iCarly clad young man and his pierced tongue Barney doll I ended up enjoying the scene. Tonight, I am afraid, will be a different story. While I attended WWE on my own accord (a sort of anthropolgoical study of American Wal-Mart culture if you will) tonight's event is entirely dreaded...

Awhile back I was on a crusade to enrich the lives of my friends by trying to gift them with the Anne of Green Gables viewing experience. Anne Shirley was a childhood hero of mine and her love story with Gilbert Blithe still inspires. I simply wanted to share this inspiration with those I care for the most. My cause was so great that I was willing to play "let's make a deal". In exchange for adventuring with Anne I would participate in almost any activity friends could think of. The only taker of this bargain was my heavy metal loving friend Colin. He would allow me to bestow upon him the gift of bosom friendship, raspberry cordial, and carrot hair (i.e. Anne of Green Gables) only if I would expose myself to a torturous evening of ear bleeding rifts, rib crushing mosh pits, and steel toed boot bruises -- yes, a heavy metal concert. Since he had no particular concert in mind I felt this exchange seemed safe. Without a set date it might never happen and so I agreed. We watched the film, it changed his life for the better, I dried my inevitable tears that go along with Anne's story, and then moved on giving very little thought to my end of the arrangement. Oh! What a fool am I?! How desperately Colin had waited for someone, anyone, to agree to attend one of his concerts with him! He was not going to let this opportunity pass him by and soon enough he had located and purchased tickets to a March 10th performance featuring Killswitch Engage.

And now here we are. March 10th. My personal doomsday. Given the events that led me to my particular predicament I thought it only appropriate to ask, "What would Anne Shirley do?" Knowing Anne almost as well as she knew herself I can confidently say that she would immediately begin plummeting into the "depths of despair" thinking about her impending hearing loss and unavoiable broken toes (not too mention the headache from overzealous head bangers yanking on her red pigtails). But while I know beyond a shadow of doubt that this would be her initial reaction I also know that right before she deemed the event "the most tragical thing" to ever happen to her she would realize that this was the perfect opportunity to imagine her circumstances away. Due to the decibal level alone at the concert I don't think it will be possible for me to imagine this event as entirely different from what it is but I do think that I could inject it with a little romanticism simply by imagining what similarities I might share with the possible kindred spirits I will be surrounded by. A tall task for certain but I am up for a challenge. Where to start? A visual perhaps:

One thing is clear -- black is back and this I can run with. How long have I myself been dreaming of my very own blackscape? How many hours have I spent pouring over images of black kitchens, black bathrooms, any sort of black wall dreaming of the day that one can be mine? I am POSITIVE that at one moment or another the lead singer and I were both being inspired by the same images of dark luxury...

Do not be fooled. I might enjoy the lighter things in life but I too can embrace the darkness and if Howard Jones, the lead singer of Killswitch Engage, and I have a love of black paint in common then think of all the other similarities we might share? I am nervous with anticipation for the bosom friendship just waiting to be formed and so in preparation to make it through this evening's descent into musical abyss and come out with newly fostered friendships I have put together my "top 5 reasons to embrace the darkside" pictoral list:

5. The Halloween specials are my favorite Roseanne episodes...

4. Overcast days in Seattle can be just as breathtaking as cloudless skies...

3. Without darkness there would be no need for romantic candle light...

2. The darker the berry the sweeter the juice...

1. I can think of nothing better to embrace than my dearly departed sweet Molly dog who even had a tongue of black...

Pooch Dog Molly
? 1995 - March 10, 2008

All I need to do is print a copy of this out and share it with any kindred looking spirits at the concert tonight. With an all encompassing dark list such as mine I am sure to come away from this experience with a renewed faith in humanity and a sense of unity amonst man/woman-kind.

Wish me luck.

Respectfully Yours,

P.S. A special thanks to my cousin Alex for creating my beautiful banner!


  1. I will not only wish you luck but I will keep you in my prayers dear one. I hope you are bringing ear plugs. Have fun....I have a feeling you embrace life and all it has to offer and that you will indeed, have a good time. Love your "dark" reasons....and always your sense of humor!

  2. So how was it? I don't think I ever heard! It reminds me of the time Burger and I went to see Fear and X at the Roxy on Sunset in approximately 1981. We, with our preppy izod shirts, collars turned up of course, encountering girls in the bathroom with black nail polish, freshening up their black lipstick and asking each other just as we would have, how do I look? We left when the brass knuckles came out on the dance floor!